Get Rid Of The Leeches In Your Life

This week I had to do an incredibly frustrating exercise.

I had to list out my values.

The problem was – I didn’t have any.

No, no don’t get me wrong – I have values but I had never given them much thought.

Here’s the exercise I did …

First I had to list 3 people in my life that I respect and admire and hope to be like.

I wrote down James Jones, Brian Johnson, and Dan Kennedy.

I really had to think about why I liked these guys so much and what really made me respect and want to be like them.

The first thing that came to mind was the fact they actually do what they teach.

It’s a strange concept I know – but you’d be surprised at the number of people out there who have a great idea, an awesome theory, or assumption and run with it.

Sadly, we’ve both probably bought products from these people before and by the time you see what’s really going on it’s too late.

The next thing that popped up was that they were open to two sided relationships. That’s a fancy way of saying they were willing to help me grow my business, while I helped them grow theirs.

This year has taught me an important lesson when it comes to this. I’m tired of helping others grow their business only to be rejected when I ask for help.

Both Brian and James have gone out of their way to help me grow, give advice and suggestions and been open to promoting me if and when it made sense.

There were others who despite me promoting for them time and time again refused to help me. I couldn’t get phone calls returned, emails sent, etc.

It’s a part of life – but it’s not a part of life I want to mess with.

Number 3 on the list was adding value to the lives of others.

This one is a little hard to measure for sure but still important to me. It’s a double edge sword being a marketer and trying to add value so this one is a little more subjective than I’d like.

Number 4 is a funny one. See I think people perceive me as constantly being negative and have a pessimistic attitude towards life.

While I’m guilty of that more times than not the fact remains I like to surround myself with generally positive people.

We all have rough days, weeks, hell maybe even months – but if you’re life straight from the Jerry Springer show – I’m not interested in being in it.

The last two are kind of important but to be honest I feel like I dick even mentioning one of them.

See I’d like to surround myself with 6 & 7 figure earners. Problem is, I don’t know a ton of them.

Hell I’d struggle to even name a handful of guys (and ladies) who match the requirements above and fit the income level I’d like to work with.

My theory behind it is this – you are who you surround yourself with. I’ve got a buddy – a great guy. He’s a little cheap from time to time but overall he’d be there at 3am if I needed him.

He has some real winners as friends.

And by winners I mean losers.

Guys who frankly I have a hard time hanging out with and wouldn’t want in my life.

Because he holds on to them – he doesn’t have room in his life to grow and meet other – less screwed up – people.

I’m all for loyalty to a point – but after that point it’s time to move on. Remember, no one forces you to be friend or interact with people you don’t want to.

Just because they gave birth to you, or were born as a brother or sister doesn’t mean you owe them anything.

And the last thing I put on the list is a dream request.

It will never happen, it will always disappoint me, but I’m leaving it there anyway.

I want people who are more than JV partners.

I want friends.

People who I can call and shoot the shit with – and not just about business.

The other day I called James Jones for an important task – I needed to know how to beat the roof level on Plants vs. Zombies.

That thing was tough!

Lucky for me he had the solution (as he normally does when it comes to all things zombie related).

We must of talked for 30 minutes and the topic of business never came up once.

That’s what I want.

Someone who can help me crush it with a product launch or an idea – but more importantly – a friend who can tell me how to kill zombies or make the perfect margarita (thanks Brian – they’re amazing).

Here’s my recommendation.

Take 5 minutes and do the exercise.

Simply list 3 people you admire and think about the values they have that you would like to posses.

I don’t want this to come off as some I’m better than everyone else type deal.

This is simply a road map or even just an outline of people who you want in your life.

And just as importantly – the people who you don’t.

Take time and do the exercise now … I’ll just wait here til you’re done.

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I’m waiting … go do the exercise.

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Yep, still here.

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Dude stop screwing around and get to work.

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Ok I give up, go back to playing a game or something.

Talk soon.

Tim

PS: I value you. I thank you for being in my life and the lessons you teach me on a daily basis.

PPS: You rock